2 Days to go.....

Tomorrow I will be heading in to the hospital for 1:00 and then my surgery takes place at 7:30 a.m. next morning. This will be my last entry until Post Op so I thought I would take a few minutes to express my thoughts and feelings on my last day at home before surgery. First of all let me say that I feel a bit stressed out about my short term benefits and getting that all sorted out, especially since the forms can't be signed until the day of surgery and they are saying 4-6 weeks but will not say 4 or 6 weeks which makes it hard to plan for. I can't tell you how frustrating that is I wish they would just say 6 weeks, then if I am ready in four I can always go back early but if they say 4 and I need 6 I have to resubmit everything which makes me want to rip out my hair. Having said that, everything else is good. I am not nervous today I am calm and excited all at once, I am happy that the time has arrived and that it will be all over soon. I know lots of people are thinking of us and that makes me feel good but I hope they are not too worried because I hate being the cause of people's worry. I know that it will be hard to leave my husband tomorrow, that will be the hardest part of everything, but knowing he will be back in the morning bright and early makes me feel better. This has been an amazing journey for me so far and I have met so many incredible people along the way. The other living donors on the message boards continue to amaze me with their kindness and concern for each other. We all have a common bond and it's so helpful being able to share that with one another. Our fears, our questions, hopes and concerns. It's a great comfort and it really has been a lifeline for me. Anyone thinking of donating or who has decided to donate should definitely utilize these resources because it really does make all the difference, and I know even when it's over I will continue to keep in touch and log on to the message boards, it's been just wonderful. There really has been so much on my mind with the short term and the surgery, I feel like I need to sit back take a deep breath and just let things happen as they will. There are things we can't do anything about and it makes life so much easier when we realize that and we just let things happen as they may. That's what I am going to do with my short term stuff, just let things run their course and deal with it as it comes. Even just saying that makes me feel better. One thing at a time I guess. I slept quite well last night, much better than the two previous, it's strange how your mind works, I was quite nervous the past two nights but then last night and today I feel really good, it's such a range of emotions and for anyone who is going through this, yes the tears are normal! They will come at strange times and you won't understand it but it is normal and it may happen several times before the big day. It is definitely an emotional time, because you are happy that you are helping to change someones life, nervous about both of your outcomes and sad to be losing a little part of yourself that has been with you for so long. There's no way to pinpoint just one emotion to describe how you feel through this process, it is definitely a mix. I do however, feel strong and confident and I know that God will be with us and guiding us through this operation. It is all in his hands now, we have done all we can and now we just have to have faith that everything will work out.
So, I will say farewell for now as I will not be able to post for several days, but I will be posting as soon as I can. It's a little bit hard to say goodbye even though it is only for a few days, because this blog and the message boards have been such a source of strength for me. But it is in looking forward that I say farewell for now, and I will be back posting in no time :) Thanks to anyone and everyone who has read my blog and I hope it will be helpful to anyone else who is thinking of, or is already going through this process.

Until next time :)